Say what you will about Ryan Bowers — oh, and I have — but you could never accuse the guy of not trying hard enough with Bachelorette Emily Maynard. Boy, did he try. He tried with several iterations of deep-cut v-necks and evil facial hair designs. With many, many pages of notebook paper with long lists of vaguely patronizing adjectives on them. With all those g-d casual scarves.
But most of all, Ryan tried with his smooth pickup artist moves. His most memorable attempts at romance include that time he told Emily she better never get fat or he’d never want to have sex with her again, when he toasted the group to his “future trophy wife,” when he improv’d the line “I’m not dead yet!” as Romeo so he could kiss dead Juliet (Emily) twice, and when he told Emily she would make a good “trophy wife” a million more times.
But it turns out that some of Ryan’s BEST pick-up lines didn’t even make it to air! Can you believe it? Me neither. I really thought we were seeing his best material. Real A-game stuff right there.
Watch this deleted scene of Ryan trying out his favorite pickup lines on a poor, unsuspecting Croatian girl who was just trying to do her job and mind her own business, and then check out even MORE of Ryan’s favorite pickup lines! The Doctor of Romance is IN:
If that girl hadn’t so rudely shut him down so she could go back to studying or researching her new dragon tattoo or whatever, Ryan was planning on also testing out these gems to use on Emily:
“You must be tired, because you’ve been running away from me during group dates all season.”
“Do you come here often? And by “here,” I mean “on reality television to find a suitable father figure for your child”? Oh, you do? Are you insane?”
“I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I have his exact same bone structure.”
“Did it hurt?” (“Did what hurt?”) “When I punched you in the face with my huge grizzly bear fists?” (Punches girl in the face)
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, that would be awesome because that would mean I could read.”
“I lost my favorite white haltertop. Can I borrow yours?”
“Are you sure it’s your fiance and not you who’s the dead one? Because you look like an angel. Who fell from heaven. Because that’s where dead people live. I mean, not live, because they’re dead. Like your ex-fiance. Am I still talking? LOL.”
“Are you from Tennessee? I literally can’t remember because I wasn’t listening to anything you just said.”
Your turn!
(Image courtesy of ABC)
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The Office, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.
