Throughout the first nine seasons we’ve heard a number of Hodgins’ conspiracy theories. As we rifled through a collection of our favorite and most outrageous Hodgins conspiracy theories we realized that almost half of them ended up being true or crucial to the solving of one of the Jeffersonian cases. Can you guess which ones?
#19 Monica Lewinsky Was a KGB-Trained Sex-Agent Mole
Booth: “I need this kept quiet.” Hodgins: “Ha! Cover-up!” Booth: “Paranoid conspiracy theory.” Hodgins: “Is it paranoia that Monica Lewinsky was a KGB-trained sex-agent mole?” In the Bones pilot, the team identifies the victim as Cleo Eller, a senate intern suspected of being in the midst of an affair with Senator Alan Bethlehem when she disappeared from her gym in 2003. When Booth learns of the identity and its attached congressional connection he insists they keep the details out of the press. Hodgins, of course, smells conspiracy.
#18 The FBI Has a Secret Division that Does All of Its Dirty Work So They Can Keep Their Public Hands Clean
Hodgins: “I’ll grab particulates to ID the bomb.” Zack: “Isn’t that the FBI’s job?” Hodgins: “You trust the FBI? You realize those guys are gonna suppress whatever they need to cover their asses. They have a separate division, you know. That way their hands are always clean.” In “The Man in the SUV,” the head of he Arab-American Friendship League is suspected of being a suicide bomber. Hodgins, of course, suspects US government involvement and doesn’t trust the FBI forensics people not to hide their findings, so he insists on doing his own chemical identification.
#17 The American Government Secretly Shoot Down Planes Transporting International Politicos
Dr. Goodman: “The information that I’m about to tell you must not leave this room.” Hodgins: “I am philosophically opposed to institutional secrecy in all its forms.” Dr. Goodman: “Fine, get out.” Hodgins: “Pfft.” Dr. Goodman: “Two communist Chinese trade attaches were on that plane when it crashed. Both of them high ranking party men.” Hodgins: “Well obviously (the American government) shot it down.” When an extra set of remains is found at a plane crash site, the team must keep it quiet until they find out who that extra person was and why the plane crashed in “The Man on the Fairway.”
#16 The Mob Funds the FBI and Uses It to Cover Up All Manner of Criminal Activity
Hodgins: “Go with me on this. Mob guys know you’re closing in and want to throw you off by making it look like the psycho, and these guys have been involved in conspiracies a lot more complicated then this. They set up Lee Harvey Oswald, worked with the CIA to kill Castro. Forget about what they did to Marilyn Monroe.” Booth: “Someone planted that evidence so that we’d find it. Someone who knew what we were up to.” Hodgins: “Someone at the lab works for the mob. I can see it. There’s not much difference between a corrupt corporate government and organized crime.” Booth: “You’re right.” Hodgins: “Excuse me?” Booth: “The only way that this could unfold is if someone on the inside was orchestrating things.” Hodgins: “People never tell me I’m right. They only say I’m crazy. Love you, man.” In “Two Bodies in the Lab” Hodgins cooks up a conspiracy theory about a crooked FBI agent in cahoots with the mob which Booth agrees just might be true.
#15 The FBI Makes Money By Stealing Loot Confiscated from Criminals and Kill Any Agents Who Aren’t Down with That
“1970s. Ohio. There is a task force made up of FBI, state police, and local cops. Goes bad. Starts taking a cut from the same bank robbers they’re supposed to be catching. Well, then they conspire to plant a stack of stolen money on Marvin Beckett. Well then this young agent, right, Harper? He decides he can’t live with that, and decides to blow the whistle. The same guy who was gonna blow the whistle on them for framing Marvin Beckett then gets murdered by Marvin Beckett? Come on. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.” Hodgins and Angela construct a conspiracy theory about an FBI coverup involving crooked agents who framed a civil rights activist for the murder of an agent who was going to blow the whistle on his colleagues in “Judas on a Pole.” Hodgins takes their theory, which sounds pretty far fetched, to Booth. Eventually they all learn that Hodgela was not that far off the mark on this one.
#14 The Weapons of Mass Destruction Conspiracy Was a Ploy to Make Money for the Government and Keep Soldiers Busy
Angela: “I just think that you should be aware that Booth went through something over there.” Hodgins: “So I’m not supposed to tell the truth?” Angela: “Truth? It’s opinion, Jack.” Hodgins: “There were no weapons of mass destruction. That’s the truth!” Angela: “Every major intelligence agency in the world thought there were.” Hodgins: “Are you defending what’s going on over there?” Angela: “No. Mistakes were made. Obviously.” Hodgins: “Yeah! Like establishing military bases over there instead of investing a fraction of what this war costs into alternative energy projects.” Angela: “Nothing is that simple.” Hodgins: “To me it is! We’re ruled by the corporate oligarchy. Face it.” Angela: [Sighs] “You want to make the world a better place, Jack? Try shutting your yap long enough to hear something other than the sound of your own voice.” In “The Soldier on the Grave,” the team investigates the murder of a soldier who served in Iraq. Coincidentally, it ends up that Hodgins’ suspicions of a military cover-up were correct.
#13 A Secret Sect Whose Purpose Is to Rid the Government of All Religious Influence Has Infiltrated Every Influential Group in the World
Hodgins: “Oh ho whoa, 12th Century Calabrian? You know what that means? The Order of Alcantara? You people have no idea of the reach of the Illuminati, do you? I tell you what else, this whole bank is an original vortex point on the triangular grid, designed by the infamous architect of D.C., Pierre Charles L’Enfant; Not to mention, the way the skeleton is displayed absolutely suggest …” Caroline: “Okay, okay we get it. This is the lair of a cannibalistic secret society.” Hodgins: “Hey you know what – you don’t want my answers? Don’t ask me the questions.” In “The Widow’s Son in the Windshield,” the team locates the site where the murderer has collected and displayed all the totems from his kills including a partially completed skeleton made of silver and actual human bones. Coincidentally, Hodgins was correct about all of it.
#12 The Government Keeps Secret, Black, Illegal Files on Every US Citizen
Sweets: “Yeah, I’ve read extensively on the Gravedigger. I’m acquainted with the profile: very intelligent, very calm. She won’t speak.” Cam: “Then what do we do?” Hodgins (To Jared): “You have to do “spring cleaning” on her.” Angela: “What is that? Is that some kind of torture or something?” Jared: “Nothing. It doesn’t exist.” Hodgins: “The government keeps secret, black, illegal files on every US citizen. It’s called “spring cleaning” because everything’s brought out into the light and turned upside down.” Sweets (To Jared): “Okay, that is complete paranoia. Right?” Jared (pausing): “I’ll need access to a secure terminal.” Cam: “Follow me.” Jared (To Hodgins, as he exits): “And only conspiracy nuts call it “spring cleaning.” The team identifies Assistant District Attorney Heather Taffet as the Gravedigger and discuss how to find out if the government has any record of past criminal activity attributed to her in “The Hero in the Hold.”
#11 The CIA Will Exterminate Anyone Who Looks Too Closely at What They are Really Doing
Hodgins: “I found gunshot residue on his hands. My bet: that Walter PPK killed our Russian.” Angela: “But who killed James Bond?” Hodgins: “Whoever shot at his window from the roof.” Cam: “And where is the briefcase?” Angela: “And what’s in the briefcase?” Hodgins: “We’re going down the rabbit hole here, people. The CIA has no problems silencing people that poke around in their business.” Angela: “I hate to break it to you, Jack. But you’re the guy who studies bugs, slime and poop. It’s hardly assassination worthy.” Hodgins: “Hey! A lot of people would like to see me dead.” Angela: “I’m not going to touch that one.” In “The Bond in the Boot,” the team investigates a recently arrived Russian whom they suspect a CIA agent with a James Bond complex may have been involved with.
#10 The Military Is Experimenting with Freezing Soldiers and Bringing Them Back to Life Later
Wendell: “Maybe somebody drenched it in sulphur to deal with the dead body stench. Or maybe someone tried to put him in suspended animation, that would involve sulfides.” Hodgins: “Whoa whoa whoa. You’re referring to ultra secret military experiments who prolong life by inducing hibernation … We’re going to find that our victim was tortured a little too enthusiastically when the government tried to bring him back to life.” Hodgins suspects a victim was carelessly abused during military experiments in “The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken.”
#9 The Department of Defense Has Created Super-Soldiers Who Don’t Need Sleep and Can Kill with Their Laser Beam Eyes
Brennan: “What is DARPA?” Angela: “It’s a department of defense agency. Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency. Hodgins say they’re into some pretty weird stuff. Like creating super-soldiers who don’t need sleep and can kill with their laser beam eyes.” The team investigates the death of a man who may turn out to be a missing master sergeant from a government agency called DARPA in “The Tough Man in the Tender Chicken.” Angela explains Hodgins’ far-out theory.
#8 Everything Having to Do with Government Involvement Is a Cover-Up for Something Really Bad
Booth: “Listen, can you talk? Is anyone else there?” Sweets: “Only the good guys.” Booth: “All right, put me on speaker.” Hodgins: “How do we know these guys aren’t terrorists?” Booth: “All right, look, they’re not terrorists, okay? They’re standard federal issue agents.” Sweets: “Why would the General Services Administration bring in a body?” Hodgins: “Standard federal issue cover-up.” Freaked out about being locked in the lab to identify cause of death from a mysterious set of classified remains by some government goons, the team speaks to Booth on the phone. Hodgins smells a conspiracy in “The Proof in the Pudding.”
#7 The Warren Report Covered-Up the Fact that President Kennedy Wasn’t Shot By Lee Harvey Oswald Alone
Hodgins: “Did you find anything?” Brennan: “The victim died within months of the Limited Test Ban Treaty.” Hodgins: “That was in 1963.” Cam: “You look like you’re about to explode.” Hodgins: “Is there, by any chance, a nick on a right rib somewhere near the third thoracic vertebra?” Brennan: “Yes. Um, most likely caused by a transiting bullet.” Cam: “Hodgins, you’re vibrating.” Hodgins: “One of the fiber samples turned out to be pink wool. The bad back. A nick from a transiting bullet. 1963.” Cam: “Wait. Pink wool, as in Chanel?” Hodgins: “She never left his side.” Cam: “Severe head wound. Oh, my God. This – is President John F. Kennedy. Why would they bring us JFK’s remains after all these years?” Hodgins: “Because people have a thirst for the truth. And other people want to make sure that truth is never proclaimed.” As they continue to investigate the classified remains in “The Proof in the Pudding,” Hodgins is convinced they are in the presence of JFK’s remains.
#6 The Government Uses Media to Distract the Public from Focusing On Their Egregious Mistakes
Hodgins (Upon first meeting Hannah Burley): “I just read the piece when you stuck it to SENCOM in 2009. Maybe while your here you could find out why every time there’s a big story like an earthquake or government corruption there’s always some celebrity story that takes focus … You know the BP oil spill, Lindsay Lohan goes to jail and the country takes their eye off the ball.” Hannah: “Media is used to distract us all the time.” Booth: “You’re taking him seriously?” Hannah: “Michael Jackson’s funeral is on 24hrs a day and nobody finds out about the coup in Honduras officially.” Hodgins: “I love this woman.” Upon first meeting Hannah Burley in The Couple in the Cave,” Hodgins is charmed by her openness to his suspicious nature in regard to all things having to do with government and its influence on the media.
#5 The Chupacabra Is a Monster with Fangs and a Forked Tongue That Eats People’s Hearts and Sucks Blood from Goats
Vincent: “At this point, from all of the evidence that I’ve gathered from the X-rays, as well as the observable evidence on the remains, indicates that our victim was killed by a cryptid.” Cam: “Cryptid?” Hodgins: “A creature yet unrecognized by scientific consensus. Of course!” Cam: “Oh, no. You guys aren’t going to start talking about werewolves, are you?” Vincent: “No no, no. I would posit that it was a chupacabra. A spiny creature the size of a bear. Vicious, a forked-tongue, with fangs easily capable of biting out the victim’s heart.” Cam: “But no one has ever captured or verified this chupacabra.” Hodgins: “No. But reports show that it sucks out its victim’s blood, and leaves behind the scent of sulfur.” Vincent: “And you found a goat tethered to a stake there.” Hodgins: “Chupacabra means ‘goat sucker.'” Cam: “So, for cause of death, you want me to put down ‘goat sucker.'” Brennan and Booth investigate a suspicious death of a myth-buster who set out to debunk the myth of a strange animal as illusive as the Loch Ness Monster and the Yeti in “The Truth in the Myth.”
#4 The Vatican Hired John Wilkes Booth to Kill President Lincoln for Opposing the Church
Hodgins: “I actually think the Vatican was in on the Lincoln assassination. They hated Lincoln since he defended a former priest against the bishop of Chicago.” Cam: “All righty, it’s human blood.” Hodgins: “Yeah? Think it came from him?” Cam: “The serologist will let us know.” Hodgins: “Look, all I’m saying is that John Wilkes Booth was secretly a member of the Knights of the Golden Circle, affiliated with Rome.” Cam: “Okay. Little friendly advice — do not mention Booth to Booth.” In “The Crack in the Code,” the first case involving Christopher Pelant, the team investigates the remains of a victim disarticulated and then put back together and arranged at the foot of the Abraham Lincoln memorial.
#3 The Government Stashes Alien Corpses and Crashed UFOs in a Warehouse Called Area 51
Hodgins: “At first, I thought pod people.” Booth: “Of course you did.” Hodgins: “Hey, there are still a lot of questions remaining about the events at Area 51, you know. Do you know that UFO spottings …” Booth: “Let’s just keep it close to Earth here, bug boy. Okay?” Brennan: “Based on angular eye orbits and a large mastoid process, the decedent is male.” Hodgins (Brightening): “Human?” Booth: “Really?” Hodgins: (Defensively) “Just being thorough.” In “The Bod in the Pod,” Brennan and Booth investigate a case where a man is found encased in hardened plastic.
#2 The CIA Has Killer Robot Drones and a Secret Untraceable Poison for Killing People They Don’t Like
Hodgins: “We’re at war with the CIA?” Cam: “That’s a little melodramatic.” Hodgins: “They have killer robot drones, Cam. Read a newspaper. You seem very interested in this Band-Aid.” Cam: “Leave no stone unturned, Dr. Hodgins.” Hodgins: I’ll check out the wound, you’ll run tests on the Band-Aid. So we’re really desperate on this one, huh? Hey. How much would you give me if it’s a small puncture wound of the sort that would be delivered by a hypodermic needle full of untraceable CIA poison?” Cam: “Let’s pursue a few less exotic options first, okay?” Hodgins (sighs): “Yeah.” Cam and Hodgins examine a bandaid while discussing the fact that they all suspect there might be a conspiracy within a government agency in “The Secrets in the Proposal.”
#1 If You Can’t Find Any Proof That Someone Is a Conspiracy Nut, It’s because They’ve Hidden it Somewhere
Hodgins: “If they stole his hard drive, he wasn’t a crank. The guy was looking into some kind of conspiracy. They can’t have that happening.” Cam: “Who is this “they”?” Hodgins: “They” are the ones that poison our environment. “They” are the ones who start wars to protect corporate profits. “They” give themselves raises on the backs of the voiceless.” Angela: “How many “they”s are we talking about, Hodgins? ‘Cause it sounds like thousands.” Cam: “Yeah, let’s just start with the person who took his hard drive. Hodgins: “Well, Foster would not have left anything important on it. No way. Not if he thought he’d uncovered a conspiracy, okay? He’d make sure every document and every file was secure and hidden.” Angela: “How could you possibly know what this guy would do?” Hodgins: “Because it’s what I would do. Check cloud-based backups, maybe places he worked.” Hodgins’ conspiracy theorist’s mind is a huge benefit to the team in advancing the case in “The Recluse in the Recliner.” Understanding the victim’s mind allows Hodgins to point the team toward the perfect place to find out crucial information about the victim and his stash of evidence against the FBI.
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
