The moment we’ve all been waiting for has arrived at long last. FOX’s longest running and most successful prime time “crimedy,” Bones, joins forces with Sleepy Hollow, FOX’s impressively popular, though much less tenured supernatural prime time drama. The big deal about this is that Bones is based upon serious science while Sleepy Hollow confronts campy outrageous supernatural demons. Though many had their doubts, this marriage works remarkably well. How? Through the focus on such commonalities as a commitment to fighting crime, a respect for each other’s greatness all around, and investment in the magic created by opposites attracting.
Abbie and Booth pair up in an ingenue-mentor fashion (which is much more fully developed during the Sleepy Hollow hour entitled “Dead Men Tell No Tales”), while Crane, Brennan, and the squints work together as mutually respected scientists and experts. Though the case is intriguing and the crossover is seamless, the most enjoyable part of “The Resurrection in the Remains” is the rapport, the chemistry, the charming interactions between Crane and the others. Crane and Brennan, especially, share the title of MVPs for this half of the Bones/Sleepy Hollow crossover.
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Brennan Pranks Booth Into Eating Real Brains for Halloween
In celebration of Halloween (or whatever she’s comfortable calling it) Brennan creates her own Jell-O molds in order to make the most life-like brain-shaped treat for Christine’s class’s Halloween party. Impressed with his wife’s ingenuity, but really just a kid at heart, Booth steals a mouthful of his wife’s brilliant creation, then gags and spits it out in the most hilarious way possible when Brennan tells him he just ate real brain. (I rewound and watched that scene six times and it never gets old. Oh, Booth buddy, you walked straight into that one. By the way, Booth spewing half-eaten food looks the same as we do when we’ve forgotten the cardinal rule of not eating while watching Bones. We’re all human, I guess.) The brain prop is excellent, by the way. It looks like glistening white chocolate. Yum!
Now that Booth has been tricked into eating “real” brain, all bets are off in the Booth family prankster wars.
Location, Location, Location
It turns out that perfect place to get stoned and miss everything is also a great spot for dumping exsanguinated murder victims. In “The Resurection in the Remains,” a college party scout falls through the rotting floorboards of an ancient abandoned church and lands on a recently and involuntarily deceased female body.
Two Victims, One Head, Buried Together
While excavating the crime scene of the freshly murdered, the team stumbles upon a super old and mega creepy mortsafe. What’s a mortsafe? It’s an iron coffin used to keep grave robbers out. The mortsafe holds the remains of an 18th century British soldier in full military regalia. The only problem is, he ain’t got no head. The mortsafe has obviously been tampered with very recently, so there has to be a connection between the two corpses, right? The Avengers (aka the FBI-Jeffersonian crew) think it might have been some kind of ritualistic killing, but they find no proof to confirm this.
The 21st century victim is medical student Sarah Lippman, reported missing for two days. She’s dressed like a Sunday school teacher, but her magenta roots and multiple face piercings tell a different story. She’d recently undergone a significant life change of some sort. I mean, other than being dead. What’s that all about?
Did I already mention that Sarah’s face was bashed in? That’s important to remember for later. That, and the fact that her super old companion is sans skull.
Enter the First Two Suspects
The head of Sarah’s medical program, Dr. John Cruz, attributes Sarah’s clean-up act to an attempt to look good for internship interviews. Her sweaty boyfriend, fellow medical student Joel “Douchy-Catholic-Boy” Brown, says that Sarah was just trying to be more like his clean-cut, God-fearing perfect self. People thought she was really dark (Pale face powder, magenta hair, and black lipstick have a tendency to do that). He said that she’d seemed a lot happier ever since. Well, a new dress and updo combined are loads cheaper than Prozak and 50 hours on a therapist’s couch, my friends.
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As for the old guy in the mortsafe, the quality of his burial and broadcloth reveal that he must have been a pretty important guy back in the day, like, when his head was attached to the rest of his body. But why was he buried out in the middle of nowhere? And what is the meaning of the medallion with pagan runes atop his expensive and not-so-impenetrable coffin? Inquiring minds are itching, but you have to know the headlessness of this corpse is a wink toward the Sleepy Hollow universe.
Ichabod Crane and Abbie Mills Want That Headless Corpse
Now the fun we’ve all been waiting for is about to begin, folks. As Hodgins and Brennan look through an ancient spell book Aubrey and Booth found in Sarah’s locker, Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) and Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) of the Sleepy Hollow universe appear in Brennan’s doorway. Now we get to see how the Bones fairies handle co-mingling the worlds of science and the supernatural.
Ichabod Crane Is Delicious to Behold
Before we go any further it just has to be said how yummy this Ichabod is. He’s dressed in period clothing, and though this is apparently how he usually dresses, it seems odd, even for the Jeffersonians … until they get the fully plausible story behind the breeches and broadcloth. This particular Crane is nearly the opposite of Disney’s knobby-kneed buffoon, by the way. FOX’s Ichabod Crane has a stately forehead and a distinguished nose that points straight down to a perfectly trimmed mustache and beard combination surrounding a Santa Clause mouth. His eyes are hauntingly blue, piercing actually, and he has the most exquisite skin that ever covered a man’s face. I mean, is that his real skin or have his zits-wrinkles-scars been Photoshopped out? Seriously, people, nobody looks that good. At least not on my side of the flat screen.
However (and I think you will all agree with me here) Crane’s crowning glory (if you can take your eyes away from the rest of his yummy self for a moment) is his elegant and expressive set of eyebrows, which have an identity all of their own. Topping off the jackpot genetics are his incredible poise and the drama with which he says everything (which seems a bit excessive to my ear, but whatever). To top it off, one cannot help but admire is his panty-melting British accent, his perfect diction, and his velvety voice which, on top of all that other stuff, make him a rather dishy piece of real estate. He’s almost as pretty as Dr. Brennan. His only downfall is that he isn’t rugged. WA-Wa-wa. I’m not convinced he could kick anyone’s ass, even under pressure. I guess you can’t have everything after all.
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The Squints Swallow Crane’s Explanations For Everything
How can a 200-year-old man could enter the Bones universe without causing a hefty stir, we’ve all been wondering since forever? Crane, it turns out, has answers for everything. Why is he dressed so oddly? He says he works for the Hudson Valley Historical Society, which is easy enough to digest, though I couldn’t confirm whether this was just a cover story or if his character actually does that job. Regardless, it works. He says he wears the anachronistic clothes to honor the men who fought so that this country could be born. Okay, he’s just committed, gallant … and a little quirky. Who are we to judge?
These are pretty creative explanations, folks, and not hard for the squints to swallow even for the Avengers. As a matter of fact, Crane’s cover is rock solid throughout the remainder of his time at the Jeffersonian. Why? Brennan, Cam, Angela and Hodgins aren’t suspicious of his spooky familiarity with intimate details about George Washington (whom he happened to be an emissary for in his previous life), or the practices and superstitions of the 1800’s, or the toilet habits William Howe, aka the owner of the 200-year-old remains, because they, the squints, totally get how obsessed a truly committed scientist is to their pursuit for information, accuracy and truth. Slam dunk.
Abbie and Crane Refuse to Budge and the Remains Are Identified
Crane’s companion, Abbie Mills, is an impeccably dressed and very well spoken baby agent for the Westchester field office of the FBI. She wants the ancient bones as they may be part of an ongoing case involving missing people and decapitated corpses.
Oh, hell no, says Brennan. It’s evidence in our case and the bones aren’t going anywhere. Abbie won’t budge, so I guess they better set up two more chairs around the mass spectrometer.
Cranes Bromance with Howe is Short-lived
When Angela makes the identification, Crane is on fire with determination to figure out why William Howe, a rather nasty commander of the British forces in the war for America’s independence, was buried in that old church instead of in England.
According to Sleepy Hollow lore, William Howe and Ichabod Crane have a rather colorful history. Crane admits that he admired the guy even though he was a calculating murderous turd. We see flashbacks of an encounter in the 1700s between Howe and Crane where Howe threatens to kill Crane if he doesn’t betray Washington by revealing the names of American spies. Crane is second from blowing Howe’s brains out when the two are interrupted.
For a little comic relief, Brennan notices the affinity between Crane and Abbie and asks if they are having sex. Crane is aghast and doesn’t know what to do when she recommends they try it since it has been wildly successful and satisfying for her and Booth. Bwaaaaaaah. (Executive Producer Clifton Campbell told us in our interview that this little scene is meant as a wink to the Sleepy Hollow fans about what might happen in the future between their go-to ship.)
The Evidence Mounts That Sarah Was Kind of a Creepy Girl
At Sarah’s apartment Abbie and Booth find a suspicious handwritten “Last night was insane” note, a hammer used to remove old floorboards, and a fine toothed saw with fabric stuck in its teeth. Looks like baby girl cut off Howe’s head herself, but where is that head now? Later, a $200 bar bill attests that she was celebrating something monumental around the time she made her big life change. An ID from the bartender points to her gay med school colleague, whose name I couldn’t catch. Weird clots in Sarah’s brain show that she died, but then lived for two more weeks before she was killed for good.
Crane and Hodgins Illuminate the Situation
Remember that ancient book of spells Booth and Abbie found at Sarah’s apartment? The King of the Lab figures out that there are hidden messages in the ancient book of spells, one being, “The skull will grant you the power to raise the dead.” Throughout the episode Crane delivers these wonderful expressions of incredulity in response to things the squints say or do – like when Hodgins tries to fist bump him in response to Crane’s admiration for Hodgins’ brilliance.
Words fail to do justice to the fantastic eye dancing and voice inflections Crane uses as he delivers lines meant to sway his listeners to his will. He’s sneaky, but in a good way. Either he’s too chicken to come out and say exactly what he wants, or he’s brilliant enough to know that making his desires sound like someone else’s ideas is more likely to get him what he wants. For example, after they uncover the hidden messages in the spells book, Crane says, “If only I had the resources to delve a little deeper …” as he glances between Hodgins and Brennan. Then — Boom! — he’s given full access to the Jeffersonian archives. Well done, you.
Necromancy to the Rescue and Cause of Death Identified
The nameless med student admits that he and Sarah had a fascination with the afterlife because they both had brushes with death. Sarah’s sister had died of cancer leaving her physically and emotionally scarred for life. Sarah thought the skull had magical powers, like a rabbit’s foot, and that’s why she dug it up. Where’d she get that cracked idea? From the spell book, of course!
The nameless med student admitted that he helped to stop Sarah’s heart until she was clinically dead, then he brought her back to life. Apparently, temporarily dead, Sarah got a pep talk from her sister who had already crossed over. That’s what made her change her pierced magenta ways and get happy all of a sudden.
Sarah’s cause of death was a blow to the nose. In the fracture, Wendell finds bone matter from Howe’s skull.
Where Better to Get Killed Than In a Morgue?
Hodgins finds bitumastic trace on the remains, vermin proof BITCH-you-mast-ick, to be specific. That’s a kind of sealant used on the tables in morgues. (I swear sometimes they put these words in the script just because they are a gas to say out loud.) The bitch stuff identifies the anatomy room at the hospital as the place where Sarah was killed. A search through the garbage from that room uncovers Howe’s skull among other ridiculously gross stuff … and a broken porcelain cup. Remember the cup for later.
Crane’s Document Search is Fruitful, but Presents a Paradox
Crane presents Brennan with a letter from the archives wherein George Washington says that he wants Howe’s remains to be buried in Sleepy Hollow. Brennan notices something wonky about the signature. It doesn’t match the rest of the letter. Crane doesn’t miss a beat and knowingly explains that Washington signed the letter himself, but only after he dictated it to a trusted captain. Of course, he’s referring to himself. The question is, did Crane write that letter 200 years ago, or 10 minutes ago?
Angela confirms that the paper and the ink of the letter are 200 years old, and that the signature is definitely Washington’s. However, the handwriting of the captain who wrote the body of the letter matches Crane’s handwriting.
Brennan asks Crane to explain the paradox of the ancient document written in his own hand. He submits that the writer was his ancestor by the same name, though neither of them has ever heard of relatives having the same handwriting. Using logic and a quote from Sherlock Holmes, Brennan decides that this is an acceptable premise, then tells Crane that the skull, which he may have once Sarah’s case is solved, was the murder weapon.
Dentures Reveal the Death-Maker
Brennan mentions to Crane that Howe’s canine tooth is missing. Crane explains, in intimate detail, how it was that Howe lost that tooth and replaced it with a French porcelain one. Brennan doesn’t question his odd familiarity with these details for reasons already mentioned. However, this leads the crew to the tooth which then points back to Sarah’s stinky Catholic boyfriend.
Squirmy Joel admits that he helped Sarah dig up the skull, then allowed her to stop his heart. However, Joel saw absolutely nothing in the hereafter, so he bludgeoned her with the stupid skull for stealing away his faith. What a douche. Maybe he saw nothing because he didn’t have a soul? Case closed. Brennan gives the all clear for the transfer of Howe’s remains to Sleepy Hollow.
Adieu, For Now, to Our Supernatural Crime Fighting Friends
Crane, Abbie, Brennan, and Booth have drinks at the Founding Fathers bar and discuss how surprising it is that they got along so well together and the home team offers to be available to the away team if ever they should have need of them (wink, wink). Brennan and Booth excuse themselves to return to work while Abbie and Crane sip tall glasses of Sex on the Beach, or, as Benjamin Franklin used to call it, Fondle in the Forest.
Booth Gets His Prank On
Back at the Jeffersonian Wendell brings “Howe’s” remains to Brennan covered by a sheet. When Brennan looks at them, Booth jumps up at her with a ghastly mask on his face. She screams, but won’t admit she was scared, per usual. They amble off, with Brennan swearing to get even with Wendell for participating.
And there you have it. A crossover between Bones and Sleepy Hollow in which the squints are not forced to acknowledge the supernatural or swallow anything that doesn’t have a plausible explanation. Well done, Bones fairies. Now, let’s see how well the Sleepy Hollow fairies do in keeping their secret other-wordly craziness a secret from the brainiacs at the Jeffersonian.
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So, fans, what did you think? Did Abbie and Crane insinuate themselves into the Bones universe without disrupting the squinty world order where facts are facts, proof is indisputable, and the supernatural is simply the stuff of fairytales and nightmares? Did Brennan behave out of character at anytime?
Sleepy Hollow fans, were Crane or Abbie forced to behave uncharacteristically at any point? In short, was this a successful and credible crossover? For my part, the evidence is clear that, supernatural or not, miracles do still happen when the two (nearly) mix.
Bones airs Thursday’s at 8pm on FOX.
(Images courtesy of FOX)
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
