Previously on Flavor of Love 3: We met the 21 girls (I suppose the Things count as two) this season who want to find romance with Flavor Flav. Shy instantly stepped forward as the crazy, scheming New York wannabe who will drive most of the drama this season. Then Flavor Flav cut five girls, four of whom were Internet finalists.
Now it’s time for my greatest challenge yet: remembering who these 16 girls are and how to spell their names correctly (or incorrectly, as it were). In the morning, all the girls notice Sinceer is a huge drunk. Seezinz is talking smack while eating fried chicken in bed.
They get their first challenge, which is to dress up like nurses and cure what’s ailing Flavor Flav. Rayna goes crazy looking for her black tube of perfume. At the emergency room, the girls will privately treat their man in the Flavor Flav General Hospital. I pray Jason or Sonny show up. Big Rick pushes Flavor Flav into the room on a leopard print gurney.
Myammee gives Flavor Flav a pop quiz about herself, and he fails to remember her name. But he does remember her bra size is 34 triple-D, and she removes her robe to show some lingerie. Thing 1 and Thing 2 use edible body paint. Sinceer gives him a stuffed bear emblazoned with his name, but she spelled it Flavor Flave. Seezinz spells it Flava Flav. This guy is in no position to complain about proper spelling.
Ice asks Flavor Flav to throw darts at a board with a photo of New York, which is a pretty creative way to cure his heartache. Tik’s idea for a cure is a rainbow. Hotlanta is looking fine, and she knows a lot of stats about him and gives him a nice clock with the name of a rap song he made with Public Enemy. Stroking his ego, nice. The three winners who get dates with Flavor Flav are Myammee, Ice and Hotlanta.
Back at the mansion, Shy and the Things (great band name) plot against Rayna. This makes Rayna want to “pop off.” I’ve also heard this phrase in clips of The Bad Girls Club on The Soup. Is “popping off” some new slang I should start using? Will it take off more than Da Brat’s “banoodles” from Celebrity Rap Superstar?
The private date includes heights, which is Hotlanta’s second biggest fear, after spiders. I like it when people order the list of their fears. My seventh biggest fear is millipedes. The girls are going skydiving. Flavor Flav pulls his cord too early and it takes him forever to get down and hug his girls. On the ride home, Ice (the Detroit radio host) lets him know that Rayna is there just for the cameras.
In the mansion, Big Rick introduces the Sheryl Lee Ralph, an actress married to a U.S. senator (that’s what they say on TV, but he’s actually just a state senator) who also serves as a motivational speaker. Sinceer ain’t hearing it when Sherly Lee talks about female empowerment and not using “talk to the hand.” Shy confesses her mom died from sarcoidosis. If only Gregory House were around. They play an ice breaker game where the girls all pretend to imitate each other. Sinceer is called out for being a drunk, and responds by calling Seezinz a nobody. Seezinz responds by calling Sinceer a Klingon. A fight ensues. When Flavor Flav returns, Seezinz corners him to talk smack about Sinceer’s negative impersonation of her.
Flavor of Love 3 Elimination Time! Flavor Flav gives out 11 clocks, then calls down the losers. He calls El and Tik down, then he can’t remember the name of the third person going home. He finally remembers St. Lewis, the third one going home. I guess he doesn’t like faceless, quiet girls like El and St. Lewis, or fat-bottomed girls like Tik. He really can’t pretend this about finding love anymore, because it’s clear he’s just keeping the most explosive personalities in the house for better TV.
On the next episode of Flavor of Love 3: The girls cook some meals, judged by a professional food critic, then they go ice skating. This show’s challenges and rewards are more random than a set-up for a Family Guy joke.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of VH1)
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.
