The second hour of tonight’s Lost season 5 premiere begins shortly after the Oceanic 6 got picked up by Penny’s boat. They call it “three years ago,” which implies the show’s future is now it’s present, and what used to be the present is now the past. If you’re already confused, don’t worry, so am I.
The Oceanic 6 are debating what they should tell people when they get back. Jack (Matthew Fox) is pushing the lie about there being no other survivors to protect them from Charles Widmore. Lapidus is willing to go along with whatever the others decide. Hurley (Jorge Garcia) doesn’t want to lie, asking Penny if she can just call off her dad.
Jack says everyone will think they’re crazy if they tell the truth. Sayid (Naveen Andrews) sides with Jack, and Hurley vows that he’ll remember this and won’t help him in the future.
Cut to the future, where Hurley is helping Sayid, driving like a mad man with the unconscious Sayid in the passenger seat. Hurley swerves and knocks down a newspaper stand, which causes him to get pulled over by a cop. He freaks out until the cop shows up, and it’s…ANA LUCIA!
Crazy Hurley’s imaginary friends are back, and Ana Lucia (Michelle Rodriguez) reads him the riot act about being safe and not getting caught. After her pep talk, she adds, “Libby says hi.” I would normally assume this was a manifestation of Hurley’s subconscious, but since there’s time travel and magic islands, I’ve decided these ghosts might be real in some manner.
Hurley stops off at a convenience store to pick up a shirt to hide the ketchup-stained one he’s wearing. Unfortunately, the only one that will fit him says “I Heart My Shih-Tzu.” It’s absurdly hilarious that such a big man and a big shirt have such a tiny dog. The checkout girl recognizes him from the lotto and the Oceanic 6, but thankfully not from the news report on her TV about him being a triple homicide suspect.
He leaves quickly, and at that same moment, Kate (Evangeline Lilly) pulls into the same store with Aaron. She considers calling Jack, but doesn’t, then she gets a call anyone from a surprising voice asking her to meet. She and Aaron go to a hotel to meet Sun (Yunjin Kim).
Kate tells her about the lawyers, and Sun theorizes the client is clearly less interested in exposing their lie than he is about getting Aaron, so Kate should take care of them. Kate is offended by the implication that she’s capable of killing someone, and Sun is incredibly passive aggressive about how Kate promised to find Jin, then left him behind to die on the freighter. Sun says she doesn’t blame Kate, but that sounds like a lie to me.
Back on the Island, everyone is growing impatient about the lack of food, fire, and the ability to control time. Juliet and Sawyer want to ride the Zodiac away, but Faraday says he’d first have to recalculate the bearing, which would require knowing the exact point in time they’re at.
That night they still haven’t time jumped, so the durations change too. Bernard still fails to make fire, earning the mockery of Frogurt, who is extra annoying tonight. He goes off about how they have nothing, even calling Sawyer “inbred.” Juliet tries to calm him down, but he’s furious that they can’t even get fire. In a moment that’s a bit too ironic for my taste, a flaming arrow comes out of the sky and hits Frogurt in the chest at that exact moment.
Then a ton of flaming arrows fall from the sky and Sawyer tells everyone to split up and meet at the creek. Frogurt gets a few more arrows in his body for good measure, just to make sure he’s dead. Some other people die too, but they’re all red shirts.
While walking to the creek, Sawyer and Juliet hear some people coming and hide. Unfortunately, they still get captured by some military-looking people who ask “What are you doing on our island?” The obnoxious British leader asks for information or else he’ll cut off Juliet’s other hand. “The first one’s not negotiable,” he explains. That’s kind of bad-ass, but just as her hand is about to be chopped off, knives start flying into these people’s bodies.
That’s right, it’s time to take lessons on being bad-ass from the master, John Locke. He walks over to one of the dead bodies, yanks his knife from their back, and says, “James, Juliet, nice to see you.”
Ben packs his things for the journey, including a box he hid in the ventilation shaft. He has to go away for six hours to put Locke’s body somewhere safe. Jack wonders why he needs to do this, asking if Locke is really dead. Ben refuses to answer the question.
Instead, he goes to a butcher shop to talk to Jill the Butcher. She knows Ben and when he asks her to watch what he has in the van, she asks if it is what she thinks it is. Ben confirms this, and also wants to know if Gabriel and Jeffrey have checked in. Is there any corner of the globe where Ben doesn’t have friends?
At Hurley’s mansion, his dad makes a big sandwich and sits down to enjoy his favorite Tv show (and mine): Expose! I think that’s the single most underrated episode of Lost ever. Hurley shows up with an unconscious Sayid, begging for safe haven, asking his dad to lie to the cops to get them away.
Hurley’s mom arrives and asks why there’s a dead Pakistani on her couch. He’s not dead, but he’s close, so Hurley asks his dad to drive him to see Jack while Hurley stays behind. Hurley’s dad gets him to Jack then wipes his hands of this mess. Jack immediately calls Ben to say he has Sayid before getting him to the hospital to fix him up.
Meanwhile, Hurley’s mom asks her son to tell her the truth, so he explains everything: the smoke monster, the Others, the Hatch, the button, DHARMA, the freighter sent by Desmond’s girlfriend’s father, and the disappearing Island. Proving to be the most trusting mother ever, Carmen Reyes believes her son.
Later that night, Hurley heats up a delicious Hot Pocket in the microwave when Ben shows up behind him. Hurley is so scared he throws the Hot Pocket against the wall. Ben offers to take Hurley back to the Island and make his life simple so he never has to lie again. It sounds good, but Hurley refuses to trust Ben, so he runs outside and begs the cops to arrest him. Hurley confesses to murdering four or three people, or however many are dead.
Finally, we see a woman in a weird room writing mathematical formulas on a chalkboard while a pendulum makes etches on the floor. She types some numbers into an old-fashioned computer and it says “Event Window Determined.” The woman climbs the stairs into a church where Ben is waiting. She removes her hood and it’s…MS. HAWKING!
If you have no idea who she is, you probably shouldn’t be watching Lost. She was the crazy time lady who told Desmond about his time traveling in “Flashes Before Your Eyes.” She tells Ben that he only has 70 hours. He argues that’s not enough time, but she doesn’t care. He asks what happens if he can’t get them all back, and she says, “God help us all.”
Next week on Lost: Desmond searches for Faraday’s mother and the survivors on the Island learn who these people with military outfits and fire arrows are. And there’s a revelation that’s about 100 kilotons bigger than anything from these first two hours.
(Image courtesy of ABC)
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.
