To start off the week, everyone is still reeling from Rami’s surprise and stupid elimination. Even Jerell is like, “Huh? But he was one of the best!” — and then quickly recovers from that brief lapse into humility, and overcorrects just in case: “Can’t be mad at that,” Jerell says about Rami getting auf’d, “because eventually they all have to go so I can get my cheeeeeck.” That will literally never happen, but it’s nice that he thinks it might. Even All Stars gotta dream!
The Challenge
The designers meet Angela at Circle in the Square Theater, which kicks off a segment I’d like to call, “Austin Scarlett, BROADWAY SUPAHSTAR!”
The Scarlett is always a bit of a caricature, but stepping into a Broadway theater kicks his artistic overindulgence into overdrive. “It’s the heart of the city! The pulse of New York! Thessssspians! They make MAGIC here!” I wouldn’t be surprised if he fainted (and then waited until someone broke out the smelling salts to jump up and declare, “Aaaaand, SCENE.”)
As Angela and the producer of Godspell explain the challenge, I am too distracted by the fact that Kenley is wearing a beach towel as a headdress. You could solve the energy crisis with how hard she tries. Here’s what I catch of the challenge, though: They need to design an outfit for a character in Godspell, and the winner gets their bio in a REAL LIFE PLAYBILL! On BROADWAY! They make MAGIC there!
In describing the character and how she would dress, they say “rich” about 60 times and “wealth” 5 times and “luxury” once or twice. It’s all very subtle and hard to interpret. But, at the same time, the costumes are also supposed to look like she picked them up in a thrift store. So … extremely wealthy, but also eccentric and a little bit poor? Sure. Also, the looks have to be separates, so the actress can change quickly backstage.
In the Workroom
Oh, apparently Kenley’s scarf was covering up her curlers. She’s like a female version of Brendan Fraser’s character in Blast from the Past.
As the season goes on, Kara and Kenley have been getting more friendly and goofy and complimentary of each other’s work, which really bothers Mila — because Mila is one of those talking tree-people in The Lord of the Rings.
When we come back from commercial, we find Austin sitting hunched over, looking at his table. Then he looks up and whispers “BROADWAY!” with spirit fingers. It’s a small but glorious moment. Maybe the best thing to happen on this show to date.
Joanna comes around for her weekly round of insightful yet largely useless critiques. She says that it looks like Austin robbed a bank with all his gold and silver fabrics, and right now they look “hideous,” but she trusts him to make them “fabulous.” If Kara couldn’t use the word “chic,” I think she’d finally have to confront the fact that her aesthetic is rather dull. She keeps making familiar silhouettes in simple combinations — and Joanna isn’t HAVIN’ IT this week. She asks Kara if she’s not pushing herself, and reminds her — as if the massive logo in every room could let her forget — that this is ALL STARS. Kara cries and says she’s doing her best.
Mila references herself in third person in her critique, because she always needs to find a new way to be unrelatable. Meanwhile, Joanna now fully realizes that Jerell is like a crow. He lacks the capacity to edit his excess in a normal challenge, so when they tell him to make an outfit for a rich lady who likes to show off her wealth, he interprets that as “BUY ALL THE JEWELS IN MOOD.” His table looks like the Chamber of Secrets. (Second Aladdin reference in three paragraphs? Oh well, I’ll allow it.)
When he fits his model, Mondo decides that his look is too overthought, heavy and overdone, but he has very little time to change it. Meanwhile, Kenley’s so in love with her outfit that she can’t stop wearing it or bragging about it — and Mondo seems thiiiiis close to chewing her out, especially after his loss to her and that humiliating judges’ critique last week. (DAMN YOU, Cynthia Rowley! Look what you did.) If Mondo self-destructs before he gets to the Top Three, so help me, I will burn this place down. You heard me — I’ll burn down the internet for you, Mondo!
It’s the day of the runway challenge, and Mondo has to “go to a dark place” to finish his garment. But the brief glances we get of it look fabulous. Austin, too, is freaking out about finishing his garment. Then there’s a little misunderstanding about whose sewing machine is whose, but like every “fight” so far this season, it’s a non-starter. I guess I should stop wishing for them and just focus on enjoying the clothes.
In the L’Oreal hair and makeup salon, Kara requests “evil eye” makeup, but “not costumey.” But it’s a costume challenge!!! Karaaaa. Mondo says that her model is dressed as a tube of lipstick. (Hey! I was one of those for Halloween last year! No, for real.) I think Kara’s on a non-stop flight to the bottom two — possibly with Mila, whose outfit Jerell accurately describes as “the girl who can’t get into the club.”
On the Runway
The guest judge this week is the star of Anything Goes on Broadway, Sutton Foster. What kind of name is that? She sounds like a law firm. Oh well, she’s adorable.
Michael: I love this look, but I have a hard time imagining it in Godspell on Broadway. The skirt is beautiful, but the real money-maker is the headpiece.
Kenley: She looks rich, but it looks a little too young to me. I guess what I’m saying is that I could see Suri Cruise in it.
Austin: She looks like an uber-hip deconstructed French aristocrat. I could see it at an amazing art show … but Broadway? I dunno. I think those cropped leggings killing the vibe, personally.
Jerell: After seeing his insane table full of jewels, the look is a pleasant surprise in its restraint. Still, for all its glittery parts, the silhouette seems so … demure. Like if a drag queen did a Downton Abbey homage. (A GREAT idea, but not exactly nailing it for this assignment.)
Kara: It’s rich, and better than I expected, but it looks cliche. Like it came straight out of Cruella de Vil’s closet. And that bow is horrid.
Mondo: OMG AMAZING. It’s so complex and has so many beautiful details up close, but still gets that dramatic “ooh, ahh” effect from afar. If Mondo doesn’t win, this will all be a disgrace.
Mila: She does not look like a character in a Broadway play. She looks like Teresa Giudice GOING to a Broadway play.
Jerell is safe, and the rest of the designers are in the top or the bottom
Judges’ Critiques: The Highest and Lowest Scores
The Good: Michael. Michael says he was trying to access the humor, but Georgina wishes the dress had more of the eccentricity, not just the headpiece. She does look bitchy, which they love.
The Bad: Kenley. Kenley is obsessed with the East Village and how she used to live there. Isaac thinks it needs a lot of tweaking. Georgina think there might be one too many elements, and they’re distracting from each other. Angela says she seems eccentric, but might not look rich enough.
The Good: Austin. Georgina likes the nod toward Marie Antoinette, and Angela likes the silhouette. Isaac says it “borders a little bit on too young,” and then accidentally calls him “Austin Starlet,” which Austin CANNOT LET STAND and corrects him, “just to make sure.” Haha.
The Bad: Mila. Isaac likes both elements, but hates them together. Sutton says it’s bordering on street walker.
The Good: Mondo. I love his story about how she’s collecting items from across the world, including her dad’s smoking jacket. Georgina loves the layering and combinations of fabrics.
The Bad: Kara. Angela loves the red pop of the skirt, but the silver bow on the front takes away from that. Georgina likes the ideas, but they “needed resolving.”
In deliberation, Angela compares Michael’s to the Chiquita banana woman, so he’s not gonna win — but they love that chartreuse skirt. Mondo’s feels like a two-week design rather than a one-day design to Isaac. But Austin’s looks like you could perform in it.
Meanwhile, on the “whomp whomp” side of the spectrum, Sutton is still thinking straight-up hooker with Mila’s look. Isaac thinks this was Kara’s best work, but he still didn’t like it — so that’s not good, at all. Georgina says there was a “proportion and a color issue.” She’s so diplomatic sometimes that she says nothing at all. Kenley’s clearly not going home, even though they don’t think her look was “rich” enough.
The Results
The Winner: Michael is safe. Between Mondo and Austin, the winner is … MONDO! His was clearly the best look. Yay, good job Mondo!!!
You’re Out: Kenley’s safe. So it’s down to Kara and Mila. Mila is safe, so Kara is OUT.
Well, I think we all saw that one coming. Several weeks ago. Still, it’s sad. Kara is such a sincere and passionate person, but she had trouble every step of the way. Kara cries as she says that she gave all that she had, every time, and it’s sad to see her go — but at least we know she gets to go home and see her children!
Next Week: They’re at the U.N., so it’s some sort of international outfit challenge. And Isaac will say, “I get Communism from this dress.”
(Images courtesy of Lifetime)
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The Office, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.
