Last week on The Real Housewives of New York City, the lines were clearly drawn in the sand. We have Aviva, Ramona and Sonja on one side, and Carole, Heather and Kristen on the other. Now that the war is officially on, let’s see who makes the next aggressive move. Or maybe it will be a passive-aggressive move. That seems more likely considering these ladies.
Calendar Girls
Ramona has a dog stylist and a photographer over to shoot a calendar for Avery to hang up in her dorm room. Wow, I’m sure there’s nothing Avery would love more than a calendar of glamour shots of her mom and her mom’s dog.
Sonja stops by for a visit with her dog to complain about her financial troubles. She’s trying to dig her way out of bankruptcy and Ramona’s worried that she’s spreading herself (and what’s left of her money) too thin instead of focusing on protecting her home which is her biggest asset. She’s also disgusted that Sonja lets her dog drink from her water glass like it’s her baby. You gotta love how, even in a time of crisis, Sonja’s just still so Sonja.
Heather meets with Dr. Brown, an ear/throat/nose doctor because her son Jax has been having trouble hearing. The doctor tells them that Jax might be able to have surgery to correct his hearing if he’s a candidate for the risky surgery. Poor Jax is only 8 and he has chronic lung and liver diseases and severe food allergies. Heather tries not to show him her emotions, but it’s hard for her as a parent who just wants her son to be healthy.
Carole meets Heather and her family at the beach in the Hamptons on the Fourth of July weekend. Heather tells her about Jax needing the surgery, and she just wants to be able to fix one thing for her son so that he can have a relatively normal life. She keeps a positive attitude, but she is worried for him. Carole thinks Heather is an amazing parent and amazing person who she feels lucky to have in her life.
Later, Heather and her husband, Jonathan, get a call from Dr. Brown who tells them that Jax is a candidate for the surgery. He thinks that there’s a strong possibility that the surgery will help Jax’s hearing now and help remove problems that he might have had with hearing later in his life.
In the city, Aviva and Kristen have a play-date with their kids. Kristen immediately throws Aviva off by making a joke about Ramona’s eyes that makes Aviva feel uncomfortable. Then she tells Aviva that she doesn’t want anything to do with the fight she’s having with Carole because she’s Carole’s friend, too. Aviva scolds her, telling her to watch her hostile tone around the kids.
Then she proceeds to tell Kristen that if she doesn’t want anything to do with the book fight, just “shut the f*** up.” Kristen is apalled by Aviva’s language, especially right after her scolding. Aviva apologizes for being vulgar, but Kristen is officially seeing the crazy Aviva people warned her about so she’s going to keep her distance from now on.
Back to the Hamptons
At Ramona’s house in the Hamptons, Ramona and Mario play a round of tennis against LuAnn and Jacques, who are heartily kicking their butts. LuAnn notices the tension between Ramona and Mario on the court. When Kristen and Josh arrive, Ramona gets all bent out of shape that Kristen is wearing track shoes and not tennis shoes. They can’t play on their tennis court because of it so they settle on a game of bocci ball instead.
Kristen goes into Ramona immediately about ditching Heather’s party. Ramona isn’t happy that Kristen has decided to open her mouth all of a sudden instead of just looking pretty. She snaps at Kristen to not get involved in her business.
Ramona has a party the next day where she gets real drunk off a bunch of her own wine, including the new Ramona Rose, which Sonja says has a bit of a burn to it. Ramona and Kristen get into it again about the same thing and Ramona tells Kristen to fight her own battles. Kristen points out that Aviva’s battle isn’t exactly Ramona’s, either. Ramona’s answer is stunned silence. And then she just tells Kristen to “stay out of her business” so Kristen suggests that she “maybe stay out of hers,” too.
Heather walks into the party and immediately says to Ramona, “B**ch, you blew off my party.” Ramona says that it’s because her text didn’t go through. She tells Heather that she thought she was being a hypocrite in the situation, but Heather says the only hypocrite here is her. Ramona denies using the word “hypocrite” to begin with and wanders off drunkenly, believing that she’s the winner of this debate.
Sonja tells Ramona about all of the important people internationally that want to book her to do her caburlesque show. Ramona didn’t see it, but she heard it was raunchy. Sonja takes offense at this, saying that she was in character, and like a lot of comedians, her character got raunchy. Ramona tells her that she’s neither a comedian nor a Broadway star in such a snotty way that Sonja wants to leave the party for more supportive, more enjoyable friends she has in the Hamptons.
Ramona apologizes to Sonja and tells her she should have zipped it; she’s just worried that she has her hands stirring too many pots at the moment. Sonja tells her she’s a single mom and she’s doing so much to support herself and that Ramona couldn’t last a day in her life. Aviva plays peacemaker, telling them not to fight because this is petty and they love each other. They hug and make-up, but it’s clear that Sonja’s feelings have really been hurt.
Clambake
Kristen is hosting a clambake where everyone looks cute in their evening beachwear. Everyone takes their shoes off on the pier and Sonja hides hers because she’s afraid someone will steal them. She continues to snub Ramona at the party.
Heather suggests to Aviva that now might be a good time for her and Carole to resolve their issues. No, Heather, this is a perfectly nice party and everyone is happy, so maybe it’s not such a good time.
Carole is talking to Mario, who just introduced her to a man when Aviva tactlessly swoops in to interrupt. Carole tries to grip on to Mario so she doesn’t have to go with Aviva, but Aviva manages to beak her grip.
Carole asks Aviva what it is exactly she said at lunch that day that made Aviva want to go on a rampage to slander her career. Aviva wants to avoid using words like “rampage” and just talk like adults. Carole will not let Aviva say anything; there is clearly no changing her mind.
Heather tries to come over to mediate. She says when the two ladies first met, Aviva was a gushing fan of Carole’s and now they’ve come so far in the opposite direction of that. Aviva tries to tell Carole that she thinks she’s a great writer, and she’s read her new book (she got an advanced copy from the publisher) and she still thinks she’s a great writer. Carole asks if that’s an apology and Aviva answers with “Happy Fourth of July.”
So no, Carole. I don’t think that’s an apology.
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
