Is there anything better than a Real Housewives reunion? You have to love the ladies being forced to sit in the same place for a few hours like an actual job while they really face the music of what they’ve said and done over the course of a season. And there’s no escape.
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Start Off Slow
It wouldn’t be a Real Housewives reunion without at least one of the ‘wives owning up to plastic surgery. And this time, it’s Kristen who admits to getting a boob job. As an anniversary present, no less.
Host Andy Cohen asks them about their taglines, which were nearly as controversial as anything that happened on the show this season. Carole says her ass has gotten plenty of attention and Ramona defends her right to Turtle Time.
Aviva gives us an update on George and Cody. Here’s a shocker: they’re not married yet. But according to Aviva, they’re very much in love.
LuAnn is surprisingly unaffected by Sonja and Ramona continuing to call her “LuMan” throughout the season. She says if she didn’t love drag queens so much, she would be offended.
Let’s Hear It for the New Girl
Kristen gets her first reunion montage, and she’s had as active a first season as any new housewife. She did not back away from confrontations with the intimidating Ramona or the crazy Aviva. She does take issues with Aviva dropping the F-bomb in front of her kids. Aviva, with a joker-like grin on her face, tells her that it’s a rookie mistake to bring confrontations to their “children scenes.” She says using profanity, mere seconds before telling Kristen to watch her mouth, was the only way for Aviva to combat Kristen’s aggressiveness. We all just saw the tape, Aviva. Would it be so hard to just admit you were wrong for swearing in front of the kids?
Kristen talks about her explosion at Heather in a very apologetic manner. For as long as that fight seemed to drag on for (like two whole episodes!), the two of them seem to have really moved on from it. Aviva tells Heather that she thinks that she handled Kristen impressively and gracefully on that trip. Heather tells her to keep that compliment because she knows it’s backhanded. Shots fired by Heather.
Ramona apologizes again for tossing liquid on Kristen while she was in liquid. Then she apologizes for tossing a plastic glass at her. She says it was unladylike and no one should ever throw anything, but the ladies just need to move on.
Of course, the busybody facialist gets her own clip montage. Carole says that what she said wasn’t the issue, it was how Sonja reacted. She thinks that her non-response to the facialist’s gossip was really just fueling the rumors. If she was a good girlfriend, she would have denied the rumors and asked her to stop spreading lies.
Aviva tries to throw a dig at Carole for having an open relationship with Russ (which still wouldn’t make it okay for him to bang her friends), but Carole shuts it down quick.
The Excuses Just Keep Coming
Andy says that viewers responded negatively to George because duh. He is a creepy and dirty old man who repeatedly crossed the line of what’s appropriate, especially with Ramona. Ramona seems genuinely traumatized by how he spoke to her and says she refuses to be in his presence ever again, despite the fact that she’s now friends with Aviva.
LuAnn calls Aviva out for letting her father talk to her friends like that. Aviva says that the way her father acts is terrible and is offensive, but she can’t do anything about it since he’s 84 and he’s his own person. She also doesn’t have a problem with her father’s 25-year-old girlfriend. She says she just wants him to be happy and love is love.
Speaking of younger companions, Andy asks Sonja what it’s like to sleep with a 23-year-old. Her lack of an answer says everything, but she does say he was a good dancer.
Andy accuses Aviva of acting the lawyer part a little to the T because she brought evidence to every one of her arguments. She says she was just tired of being called a liar, which is funny because everyone on the left couch (LuAnn, Carole, Heather and Kristen) all call her a liar. Heather says her son has asthma, and he’s fine in warm weather altitude. Even Andy says he’s asthmatic and has been to Montana.
LuAnn says last time her excuse was phobias and this time it was asthma. It’s kind of like the classic story of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. Only this time, it’s Aviva Who Cried Illness. It’s just a matter of the pattern. There’s always a convenient excuse for Aviva to not go on the producer-mandated trips like the rest of the ladies.
Delusional with a Capital “D”
Sonja thinks that she’s misunderstood, so Andy asks her to clarify what she means by that. Well, you see, she has multiple businesses and real estate endeavors and investments that make her money. Just because she doesn’t have a brand doesn’t mean she’s not a business woman. It’s also hard for her to show her businesses on camera because she’s a very private person.
Andy points out the juxtaposition with her claim to be a private person and the way she openly talks about her sex life on the show. She says that those are two different things. Look, Sonja talks a lot of nonsense that I don’t understand about all of her business ventures. But one thing she’s sure of is that she doesn’t want any advice from Kristen’s husband, Josh (can’t blame her there). She’s also hurt that Kristen called Sonja “delusional” behind her back.
Then Kristen lays it to her honestly. She says, “Sonja, you are wonderful, warm, beautiful, smart woman. But you are delusional.” She says no one on these couches would say any differently, but of course Aviva has to chime in with, “I don’t think she’s delusional.” Well, I guess that makes you delusional too, Aviva.
LuAnn thinks that Sonja has changed a lot since her first season. She’s been sucked into the show and it’s gone to her head. Ramona whispers to Sonja that LuAnn is just jealous, but LuAnn thinks it’s just the opposite. She says that Sonja doesn’t live in reality, that she’s scattered and all over the place. And Sonja’s response is to call her a bully.
Next week, things get even more heated between LuAnn and Sonja. And Ramona comes after Andy Cohen. Ramona! That’s your boss!
The Real Housewives of New York City airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
