Life is complicated. TV can help. “What Would TV Do?” attempts to explore life’s mysteries, problems and everyday situations with the assistance of the life lessons offered by television.
If you believe some people, the end of the world is upon us. That sucks. And not just because the End is apparently showing up on a Saturday. The Rapture couldn’t have picked a Monday for this?
But the end of days is likely to incite panic in much of the population, no matter which day it arrives. But television viewers are fortunately better-prepared than most to endure and survive whatever apocalyptic fury is headed our way.
What would TV do?
Thwart destiny and save the world via self-sacrifice.
Armageddon is nobody’s fault, right? Wrong.
Television characters always have a hand in humanity’s certain doom. In the case of Supernatural, our heroes were destined to bring about the apocalypse pretty much by existing.
Being heroes, the Winchesters weren’t so excited about this. So, through a combination of violence, strange alliances and sacrifice, the boys went against destiny and let the world keep going.
For now anyway.
Play dead.
If recent television is to be believed (and it is), our most likely doom is zombies. Any minute now, the undead might just rise up to snack on you and your loved ones.
This is not fun. But TV has some advice for you: play dead.
As seen on The Walking Dead, television zombies are overachievers who routinely ignore passive coma patients in favor of the physically fit. If you don’t have a convenient coma available, try to nap a lot. The initial zombie apocalypse will probably pass quickly, leaving you rested and well-positioned to become a plucky survivor.
Kick back and get on with your life.
Barring a zombie attack, TV apocalypse tends to take awhile and probably won’t affect you immediately. We saw this clearly on Fringe, where — despite a doomsday machine and warring dimensions — the destruction took place over decades!
Unless you’re a genius scientist or a chemically-altered FBI agent, you probably won’t have much to do with the End anyway. So take it easy, avoid inexplicable electrical surges and hope to not get sucked into a tear in reality.
Fit in the apocalypse between homework and partying.
Whatever its time frame, the apocalypse doesn’t need to take up your entire life. Buffy the Vampire Slayer depicted apocalypses on a nearly weekly basis, but the Scooby Gang still had plenty of time to hang out, engage in witty banter, have sex and occasionally study.
It’s a safe bet that you will not personally be called upon to save humanity from a demon scourge. Just think of all the free time you’ll have!
Unless of course you don’t survive.
So now you should be set to face the apocalypse. And, if the worst does occur, take comfort in the fact that there’s absolutely nothing good on TV on Saturday nights anyway.
(Images courtesy of The CW, AMC, FOX and UPN)
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Laurel grew up in Mamaroneck, NY, Grosse Pointe, MI and Bellevue WA. She then went on to live in places like Boston, Tucson, Houston, Wales, Tanzania, Prince Edward Island and New York City before heading back to Seattle. Ever since early childhood, when she became addicted to The Muppet Show, Laurel has watched far too much TV. Current favorites include Chuck, Modern Family, Supernatural, Mad Men and Community. Laurel received a BA in Astrophysics (yes, that is possible) from Colgate University and a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies and History of Science from Columbia University before she realized that television is much better than studying.
